Saturday, March 17, 2012

A Four-Horse Race— Unless You’re The Prancing Kind

First off, congratulations to Lewis Hamilton for claiming the first pole of the 2012 season.

For a good chunk of Q3, I was actually going “WTF?!” at the seven-tenths advantage he had. I just thought that that was, to use one of the Hamster’s favorite adjectives, “massive.”

That did go down to a 0.152 by the end of the session thanks to Jenson’s efforts to give Macca their first front row lock-out since the 2009 European GP, but still, Lewis put the hammer down around Melbourne Park today.

U Can't Touch This

Go, go, RoGro, go!

That is to be my new cheer for this season. Has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?

Romain Grosjean was the surprise of the session for me today after putting his Renault/Lotus/Lotus-Renault(???) into P3.

I would have been more supportive from the get-go had he kept that awesome nest-hair he used to have.

The RoGro 'Fro

I mean, how awesome was that? He was like a non-knife-wielding Sideshow Bob!

Romain & His Evil Cartoon Counterpart

I suppose it added a couple of kilos too though, which probably explains his poor showing in 2009.

But this is 2012, and he is quickly showing that he is not to be overshadowed by his champion teammate, the ever-eloquent Kimi Raikkonen.

Speaking of which, remember how Kimi was asleep 30 minutes before his first race way back in 2001?

I honestly believe he was still asleep 30 minutes INTO today’s qualifying session to end up in 18th.

Look at all the flocks Kimi gives.

Remember also, however, Suzuka 2005, when the Iceman started 17th and fought his way to victory. I’m not saying he’ll do the same, but this should be very interesting.

As for the Bulls, a third row lock-out it is, with Mark ahead of the defending champ. Seb just wasn’t on it today, and I guess it must suck to not be on the front row, which was practically his home away from home last year.

I’m blaming it on the very plain-sounding name he gave his RB8. After the likes of Kate's Dirty Sister, Luscious Liz, Randy Mandy and Kinky Kylie, we have, wait for it…


Abbey?! It sounds nice, yeah, but given this year’s car with its beautifully sculpted nose, I’d have gone for Barbra, Buxom Barbra.

The BaRBra 

So, Seb, please consider that when a chassis change goes your way. If you do use it, I will accept donations in return (even a tour of the garage will do).

Finally, a time for reflection.

Back when I started watching F1 as a kid, I remember being exposed to countless Michael Schumacher victories. I could then already recognize the German and Italian national anthems because of it.

Oh how times have changed.

On the one hand, with Michael and Nico starting tomorrow in 4th and 7th respectively, I’m glad that Mercedes seems to have finally produced a car capable of challenging for wins. I was never really a Schumi fan (don’t tell my dad or it’ll break his heart), but I can’t deny how beautifully nostalgic it would be to see the old guy on the top step of the podium again.

On the other hand, Ferrari’s current state is just… unfortunate. And that’s putting it mildly for such a prestigious team. There’s Williams, yes… but that was a bit more gradual, like that Angela Bofill song, the one that goes:
Break it to me gently,
If ya have to, then tell me lies
Break it to me gently,
At least leave me with my pride"

Fernando qualified in 12th with Felipe a further four places down. So far this week too, both have already parked their cars’ shaky butts on the kitty litter; which is funny, because the F2012’s a dog. Get it?

Ok, bad joke aside. Would it be premature to suggest a new logo, like a 2012 special edition logo?

It's a dog, and not in a Randy Jackson kind of way.

And if those pictures still don’t make it obvious how frustrating it must be to drive the F2012, let Fred show you:

In fact, I reckon a swap of helmets is in order. Heikki’s for Fernando’s. It would go well with the Ferrari Red and what must be the general sentiment of the Tifosi at this moment.

Angry Alonso
See, even the thickness of their brows is the same.

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